Broken Heart
by PrincessTaysha
Summary: "Why did you leave? Why did you leave me here alone? I was so worthless to you? Our love was so worthless to you?"
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except my grammatical errors =)

May 2012

I was not a violent person. Never. I always liked to see the good side of the people. I was not believed in guns. All who know me can say I was a peaceful person fighting every day for a better world.

But the world did not improve, and never will do. Either way, I have no strength to fight. I couldn't fight against his violence, his psychopaths and mass murderers, his perversion. The world is dehumanized. I too, since you're not with me.

My heart beats but I do not feel alive. My lungs are still functioning but my breath is mechanical. My feet still walking, but they do not lead me anywhere. My fucking brain is still doing his job. He is the best.

My memories hit against me, day and night. Your memories within me. Your smile appears in the middle of the night, I feel your eyes on me but you're not here.

Right now I'm thinking of you. You're inside my head, inside my soul and my body. You still live inside of my senses.

I try to get out all the rage of my body, I want get rid of the frustration and pain in some way. So I'm doing something never done, before your abandonment.

I'm running. Every day my physical endurance improves, every day I feel much stronger. I'm running all the roads you ran. I do it because it makes me feel close to you.

When I think about the way you left, anger runs through my spine. My legs work even faster, my body possessed by anger. You don't gave me a goodbye kiss.

I sped my run some more. Unintentionally, I bump into a man who was running in the opposite direction to mine. I did not even say a few words of apology because I'm out of me.

I collapse on the cool grass, and gradually, I recover my breathing rate. Then I put my hands on the floor and start my series of push-ups. I do frantically, trying to burn all my helplessness and my adrenaline.

That night I waited for you. I waited until late. You promised to me that would come to dinner with me to celebrate our anniversary. We do not celebrate it, because you were away.

That's why I wanted it to be special. I got dressed with the blue dress you liked so much. I lit candles, candles that melted because you did not show up. They were consumed hoping for, as happened to me. In my life I felt more ridiculous.

The memory makes me shudder. The hate makes me get up off the grass, hard. I keep running to get to the gym. I go directly to the Boxing Training Room.

With each punch, hate frees my veins and I can feel my blood swim into my body once again.

My tears begin to fall down my face. A final further blow. Just one last punch more.

I can not fool myself. The hate still inside me. The pain is in my soul.

As I turn away slowly from the old punching bag that night comes back to my head. The night you left me, without a single explanation.

Why did you were have to go? Why did you leave me here alone? You did not know the hurt that you were doing me? I was so worthless to you? Our love was so worthless to you?

Then I look at my reflection in the mirror of the women's bathroom. My black hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail. My brown eyes are surrounded by dark circles. My skin is pale, very pale.

I pass my hand over my cheek and I can stroke the bone of my cheekbone. Then, I were run my fingers through my collarbone up to my jaw. I can touch all those bones under my skin.

I realize I look like a zombie. I live without being alive. I live like a robot, no feelings. I wander the streets, I sleep without rest, and I feed for mere survival. I hear people talk but I don't listen them.

I turn on the tap and wet my face. I pick a little more of water in my hands, letting it fall on my neck. Then my phone rings demanding my attention. When I pulled it from the front pocket of my pants, I see that is the job number.

"Garcia" I replied without much enthusiasm

"Hello" JJ answered from the other line "How are you?"

I leave the gym while I answer my friend "As every day for eight months. I am a walking shit "

"Pen, honey ..."

"Today I realized that I can pretend to be one of those walkers of The Walking Dead"

"I know, what happened with Morgan, was horrible but you should..."

"JJ, I have not asked for your opinion" I interrupt her, tired of repeating the same conversation over and over "Why did you call me?"

I hear her sigh on the other side "Hotch has asked me to call you. He wants to talk to you "

"About what?"

"He said that Anderson, was looking for you, this morning. To go to practice shooting "

"True...I forgot it"

"Really, Pen? Are you going to practice shooting?" She says incredulously " What do you get with this? This is not you "

"This is what I am now...If you don't like, I'm sorry"

"Hotch does not agree with this new personality yours"

"Tell him from me, that he stop meddling in my fucking life. None of you have the right to do "

"In case you forgot, Hotch is your boss. You owe him explanations"

I sigh, tired of all this damn conversation "I owe him explanations for my work, not about my personal life...  
It's my life."

"Pen, please ..."

"Why did you call me?"

"We have a case"

"Ok, I'm coming"

**A/N: **I do not know why my muses are so sinister now ... LOL

I'll see where it all ends =)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: **I own nothing except my imagination and my grammatical errors**

August 2011

Derek closed his eyes, letting the sun, caress his face. He thought of how sweet it was his life, while were swinging in the hammock of this beach. His smile lights up his face, as every time he felt her presence near him.

"Pen ..." he whispered without opening his eyes, "stop playing with the sand, and come here with me"

She looked up from his left side, poking a smile "I'm not playing. The beach sand is a great natural exfoliant"

He turned his head to face her, his eyes now open to the hundred percent.

The sea breeze made fly free her blonde hair. Her eyes looked intently towards the sea, lost in the beauty of a summer day.

Derek reached out a hand toward her, placing it under her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Do you know how perfect you are to me?"

Her smile lit up her face as she lowered her eyelids shyly. "You fool," she whispered before getting on her knees to kiss him.

He let his hands descended down her back, caressing her soft skin. Their kisses were slow and sensual. Sincere kisses of love. Her hands caressed his neck, his face...

When Derek broke the kiss, because was needing air, she turned to catch his lips. The kiss ended, and they were face to face, near.

"Will you let me get up?" He said laughing, "I have something to do"

Penelope turned away, standing up, while untied her beach wrap, exposing her yellow bikini. "Ok, baby boy. I'm going for a swim"

He grabbed her wrist as he shook his head "No, wait"

His hands clasped her waist, pulling her closer against him. Derek lowered his lips to hers, their tongues were melting in a sensual dance.

His mouth dropped to her chin, dropping something else, leaving wet kisses on the column of her throat. He felt her tremble in his arms.

"Derek ..." she moaned, putting her hands on his shoulders, trying to create a space between them "anyone can see us ..."

"Who?" He asked, raising his head to look around. Again, he cradled her face in his hands, a smile painted on his face "No one around here"

Penelope felt his mouth on her neck again. She felt his big, warm hands caressing her waist, her back ... felt his touch, where the back loses its name.

She could feel her nipples burning against his hard chest, lost in his heat. "Stay still, my love ...," she asked, displaying supernatural forces

He bit her ear lobe, before whispering hoarsely; into her ear "Will you marry me?"

Her eyes welled with tears. However, they were not tears of pain, like years ago. Nor were tears of disappointment, or sadness. They were tears of joy, tears of blessing.

Penelope saw him kneeling before her, taking her hand in his, before taking it to his mouth and kissing her knuckles, gently.

"You know I love you more than anything in the world. Every time I see you, I feel so many things, things so great that I cannot even express it. I cannot name them, because them are stronger than everything. I am not a perfect man, I know I've had many mistakes and sometimes I hurt you"

he closed his eyes, only for one second "But I always was unintentional, I would never be able to hurt you, baby"

"It does not matter, the past does not matter" she replied, her voice in tears "What matters to me, is you with me, loving me"

Derek smiled, kissing her hand again, "I know, baby girl. That is why I love you so much. That is why I fell in love with you. You have a pure heart, I do not want you to change. Whatever happens, I want you to promise me that you'll never change"

Penelope raised her free hand to stroke his chin, gently, as she always did. "Of course, baby. I promise"

He looked at her with eyes full of emotion, love and sincerity, "I have no ring right now, but when we return to Virginia I'll buy the most gorgeous ring that I finds. If you accept my proposal," he said with a smile, before turning serious again, "My love, my princess, my whole life ... you give me eternal happiness, marrying me?"

She jumped on him, dropping the two on the sand. Penelope covered his face with kisses, like a teenager who falls for the first time "Yes, yes, yes ... of course I want," she replied, sitting over him, her hands on each side of his face. "I love you Derek"

He brushed the hair that fell over her face, before kissing her gently on the lips "I love you more"

**A/N: Thanks for your comments and reviews my girls Kimd33, Jenny Crum and Guest. **

**Thanks to follows and favorites, too.**

**Guest, everything can be explained. A simple hair dye too. Time to time. LOL**

Kisses!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: **Sadly, I own nothing**

June 2012

Aaron Hotchner looked around, dropping his dark eyes on all those strangers who crowded the bar.

He continued to search her figure in some corner, frowning. It would not be easy to find her, hidden under her dark clothes and her lonely attitude.

Aaron delved to the dance floor. He looked around, with no results.

**Little broken hearts of the night**

**Slowly picking up their knives**

**On the way to the fight**

**Tonight they want revenge**

Aaron began to despair, when he found her.

Penelope had her arms chained to the neck of a man, while allowing her hips came alive, with the gentle rhythm of the music.

The little black dress clung to her body like a glove, highlighting her pale skin. Her brilliant black hair fell like a silky waterfall down her back.

Penelope pressed herself a little more against her conquest. He seemed very crazy about her. His eyes sparkled with mischief and seduction, as she grinned.

**Beautiful soldiers in their beds**

**Making love inside their hands**

**With no chance to defend**

**Tonight could be their end**

Aaron approached them slowly. He could not help noticing the situation.

Penelope was living her own fantasy. The man, who held her, was just another copy of Derek Morgan.

Her hands caressed his strong shoulders, her mouth almost touching his chin... her eyes closed. Even she was a copy of Derek Morgan. Penelope had become, unintentionally, in the man she had lost

**With the weapons in their hands**

**And their eyes closed as they stand**

**Can they end it all tonight so easily?**

Aaron did not know how to approach her, and how to interrupt the scene.

He could see that she turned away from the man, to take a sip of tequila. The man, meanwhile, was looking at her spellbound...

**Did the darkness of their days**

**Make them let go of their light?**

**Will they want to find a way**

**To make it all right?**

Aaron took the small distance between them, and approached the couple. She turned as she felt his hand on her shoulder.

Penelope smiled. For the first time in many months, she smiled. The man looked at him with his deep black eyes, his jaw a little tense.

Apparently, he did not like the intrusion of Aaron.

Surely, he would be wondering who that idiot who had interrupted their sexy flirting.

**When the beautiful awake**

**See the sadness in their eyes**

**Will they want to find a way**

**To make it all right,**

**To make it all right?**

Penelope greeted Aaron after leaving her drink on the bar "Thanks for coming, I wanted to talk to you"

"Do you mind if we sit at a table?" Aaron asked, uncomfortable about the look of disapproval of the man.

She looked at the man, before returning her attention to Aaron "Of course ... do you mind sitting on a table? Give me a few minutes"

The man looked at Penelope frowned, "He is your boyfriend?" he asked as he caressed her cheek with his knuckles.

She were bad liar, and she knew that was very wrong to lie. However, Penelope wanted nothing from Jason. She had managed to calm her heart for a few minutes; she had managed to fill the absence of Derek with a bad version of him.

"Sorry, Jason...Bye"

**Only the fallen need to rise**

**What if lightning strikes them twice?**

**Will they give up on their lives**

**And finally divide?**

Penelope still felt Jason's eyes fixed on her back as she was leaving the pool table.

He was sexy. He was handsome. He was funny. He was strong and loving. He had an open nature. He had dark eyes and perfect smile... Just like all those who she had known after Derek.

They were a bad comfort. However, it was a comfort, the end of the day...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx

Aaron stared at his friend as she sat opposite him. Her bright eyes were dull.

Lately, everything was dark in her. Her clothes, her attitude, her own life...

He had to admit that he missed her jokes, her joy, and her extravagances.

Penelope was a ray of light amid the darkness for the whole team. She was always there to get a smile from him. She was able to do Reid blush with her comments.

She kept leaving voice messages to Prentiss, after her "death"...

Penelope Garcia never lost hope that someday the world would be a good place to live.

She never gave up hope ... until that day when she lost everything.

A hint of a smile appeared again in her tired face. "Are not you going to congratulate me?"

Aaron looked at her with surprise, his eyebrows rose, "Why should I congratulate you, if I may ask?" he asked fun, before taking a sip of cold beer.

She pulled away some hair from her forehead and took a deep breath for a second "I passed all physical tests"

He swallowed hard. He knew what she meant. Penelope had passed all other tests. The last, the physical test, she had managed to overcome it,too.

Aaron knew she would have no problem in shooting test. Penelope had been practicing for weeks with Agent Anderson.

"Garcia, I think we've talked about this. The team does not need another agent. What we need is a good technical analyst, and we already have it"

He placed his hand over hers in a gesture of confidence. She did not reject his hand "Strauss says that I have a future in this. She says that if you do not want me into your team, she has several options that may interest me"

"You've talked to Strauss?" Aaron asked, pushing away his hand, something annoying, "Why you have done that?"

She leaned back, resting her back against the chair, as she was crossing her arms under her chest "I want to do it. I want to capture these psychopaths with my own hands. I want to do more than sitting in front of a computer screen ..."

"That's your job, Garcia, and you're the best. You already know"

"Aaron, please" she whispered, her voice broken, almost pleading, saying his name "I need it. I really need this. If I do not do this, I will going crazy"

"Why? Why all of a sudden you want to do this kind of job?"

"I need it. Believe me"

"This job is very difficult," Aaron said, as he approached a little to her, resting his elbows on the table "This work requires great psychological strength and you do not have it right now. Do you want to see dead people, Garcia?" he challenged her, "You want to see people dismembered, women being raped to death, or tortured children? Is that what you want to see before you sleep every fucking night?"

"Derek ..."

Aaron was silent. She was looking somewhere in the bar. Her eyes were wet with tears, her hands trembling.

"What did you say?" he asked, confused, without looking away from Penelope, until she stood up without saying anything, "Where you going?"

He dropped a few dollars on the table, to pay for their drinks and ran after her. Aaron tried to break through people, but when he went out, she was not there.

"Garcia, where are you?" he cried from the door of the bar, looking from left and right sides of street "Garcia!"

With the nerves in his stomach, Aaron toured the street from the top down.

At last, he found his friend sitting on the curb, her gaze lost. Her cheeks were still wet with tears as she hugged her knees.

"Why have you left?"

Penelope looked up, fixing her eyes on the face of Aaron "I've seen him, I have seen Derek" she whispered.

"What?"

She stood up then, with renewed vigor, as she passed her hand through her hair "He has gone through before the door, he was walking down the street"

"Garcia ..."

"I'm sure it was Derek," she said, as she put her hands on the shoulders of Aaron "That was not my imagination ... he was there ..."

"You have mistaken Derek with another man"

"You are wrong! ..." Penelope whispered in despair as tears began to fall, destroying her smokey eyes "You not seen him, because you were back to the door, but Derek was there ... a few steps from us ... He was walking towards this street ... "

Aaron witnessed her collapse, he saw her drowning in tears. He had seen a lot of pain, perhaps too much. But this still hurt him. The pain of the people that mattered to him. He cradled in his hands Penelope's face, delicately.

"Look into my eyes" Aaron asked softly, "Please look at me"

"It was him ... believe me, please" she begged, I'm not insane ..."

"It can not be him, Garcia, and you know it. You have so eager to see him, that your own mind made you believe that Derek was here"

"He was here!"

Aaron took a deep breath "He can not be here ... You know that Derek is dead..."

"Shut up!" she yelled through tears, as she allowed Aaron tuck her in his arms "Shut up ..."

"I'm so sorry" he whispered with empathy "We all miss him"

"I've seen him ..." Penelope answered, without strength, "I know it was him ..."

**A/N: I hope you liked the chapter... I know is sad **

**Thanks for your favourites and follows and thanks to Kimd33, Shy Chey 97, LoveforPenandDerek, and jenny crum**

**The song is Little Broken Hearts by Norah Jones**

**Kisses!**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: **I own nothing**

September 2011, Chicago

He had seen many things since he worked at the BAU. He had witnessed horrible things, which made him doubt human nature.

However, that damned Jean Phillips was in the top five of the most heartless.

Jean got into their houses, breaking the windowpane. He went up to the room quietly, where he threatened the woman with a gun. He forced the husband to sit in a chair. Then, Jean immobilized man's body with a thick rope. That was his last step before starting his perverted rite.

Jean forced them to have sex while his filthy hands gripped the soft neck of women. They died after a long agony. He never killed her husband, and those poor men lived tormented.

Derek had no obligation to be there, but he wanted to be in that case.

When Richard called him that morning, explaining the situation, he felt the call of duty.

Richard's team was going crazy, because that son of a bitch slipped from their hands easily. They could not find him, and Jean, returned to kill again.

At last, Derek and Richard managed to achieve their goal. As they had his address. Ironically, Jean lived a few minutes from the police station. However, as soon as they came to his house, he was stepping on the accelerator of his sports car. Derek hit the gas angrily, his hands clutching the steering wheel.

"Be careful," his friend told him, sitting in the passenger seat, "I have a beautiful wife and an adorable little girl waiting for me back home"

Derek relaxed slightly, while still chasing Jean "I know, Richard. I also I have to return home quickly. I have something to celebrate"

He thought he had been very lucky to catch this pervert in the morning. That allowed him to plan something to compensate his fiancée. Two days ago, he had returned home after a hard case with the team, and he was already into another hunting

However, Richard was his friend, one of his best friends. Since they met in the police academy, became inseparable. Derek knew that Richard would have done the same for him.

Around a curve, Jean found himself in a dead end street. They had him cornered, like a dirty rat, as he exited the car with his hands up. "Do not shoot me, please ..."

Derek left the police car; his gun aimed at the murderer "Do not move. Do not make any strange movement. Stay where you are"

He cautiously approached Jean, his eyes full of contempt. He grabbed his handcuffs with his free hand, still pointing the psychopath with the other. "Richard, get out of the car"

Jean was shaking and crying like a little child. His were fear reflected in his face, and his despair did not allow him to breathe normally.

"Richard?" Derek shouted again, a little confused. He turned for a moment toward the car, checking if his friend was all right. Richard was sitting motionless in his seat.

"What are you doing in there, man?" Derek asked, without departing from the detainee "Are you okay?"

While he cared about Richard, Jean made a move and ran with his hands cuffed on his back. Derek reacted, running after him.

"Come back here, you bastard!"

However, Jean did not want to listen. He ran across the street, not looking where he was going. The light turned green for drivers and Jean ended run over by one of them, lying on the asphalt.

While other agents took charge of Jean Phillips, he returned to the side of his friend. Derek opened the car door, and the Richard's body fell to the ground.

"What the hell ...?"

He knelt beside his friend, checking the pulse in his throat. His heartbeat seemed stable and, he breathing normally but was unconscious.

He sat him in the car, before inspecting the Richard's body, in search of any symptoms. Then, a hand covered his mouth, preventing him from breathing. For Derek, everything went dark. Seconds later, that same police car was on fire...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx

September 2011, Virginia

Penelope was in her living room. She was sitting on the couch. She was wearing a beautiful, blue dress.

From there she saw the table ready. A table ready with candles and special dinner for two. However, dinner was cold. The candles almost consumed. Cause Derek was not there.

Her tears ran free from her eyes, were walking all over her face, ruining her makeup.

It was their first anniversary. However, Derek was not there.

She returned to dial his number, nervous. Again, she listened that answering machine.

Sighing, she decided to leave another voice message.

"Derek, baby, I'm worried about you. Please, call me. I do not care if you can not come tonight, really.; I just want to know that you are safe. I love you, handsome"

Penelope took a deep breath before entering the bathroom. She washed her face and brushed her teeth. Derek promised to be on time. She let out a bittersweet laugh: "If he some day just comply one of his promises ... I'll believe anything"

She took off her dress, still thinking about Derek. He was so important in her life, like breathing. Penelope could not help thinking that maybe she was not so important to him.

He was a great agent, and she was proud of him for that reason. However, sometimes she felt unappreciated compared to his career. He always had to be playing heroes and villains with those insane. She lived with her heart in her throat, seized by fear.

Penelope returned to the living room and turned on the TV. She had been watching channels, without stopping to watch any. Then the ring sounded insistently. She flinched, who could show up at this hour of the night?

"Garcia, It's me...Hotch"

She breathed quiet before putting a smile on her face to welcome Aaron "Hey, boss man. You feel lonely tonight?"

Aaron's gesture remained steadfast, though he was visibly nervous. His jaw was trembling a little "Sit down, please"

"What's wrong? Are you all right?" she asked, as he sat beside her on the couch. "You're pale ..."

With moist eyes, and his voice breaking, Aaron tried to keep his composure. "Chicago police have been in contact with me ..."

Her heart stopped for a few seconds while a pity she did not feel for years, settled in her soul "Don't. .. Don't say that, please," she whispered, shaking her head slowly.

"Derek has had an accident"

"An accident? What kind of accident?"

Aaron looked at her with empathy, he knew what she was feeling. He felt it when Foyet decided that Haley had lived long enough. "Apparently the police car crashed and then exploded ..."

"No. .." she said in a small voice, almost inaudibly. Her voice was choked with tears, as she were dropped to the ground "No. .."

He grabbed her shoulders "I'm sorry ... I'm so sorry"

After an hour, Penelope rose from the couch, not looking at Hotch, and went to her room. She just wanted to sleep and cry...

Sleep because dreams are happier than reality. Cry because it is the only way to feel again. Sleep because your life goes off for a few hours. Cry for your losses. Sleep to believe you still have chances of being happy...

**A/N: I know, this is sad...but soon you will see the light at the end of the tunnel =)**

**Thanks for your favorites and follows, thanks, thanks THANKS!**

**Thanks for your comments to Kimd33, Jenny Crum, Carfa, Garmor, KLCM**

**Kisses girls!**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: **I own nothing except my grammatical errors =)**

June 2012, London

He leaned his head back, sinking more into the seat. From the airplane window, he saw the ground get away slowly. His nervous fingers were beating his left thigh, while his eyes were closing.

It was going to be a hard day. It was going to be a tough week. He should not go back to Washington that night. It was a move too dangerous, because no one could see him alive. However, he needed to see her. He needed to know about her. He needed to see her eyes.

But what Derek Morgan saw in her, did not like it. She was broken. Penelope had a dark halo over her. She was only a shadow of its former self.

He swallowed hard, while a strange feeling stuck into the center of his chest. Now, he had to return to Washington, now that it was over. Finally, Derek Morgan was free again. He was free to get his life back.

He looked at his watch. Within hours, he would take his place. On Monday would be the day of his reappearance. On Monday would be the day of his return to the world of the living. Derek did not know why, but he was afraid. He was frightened at his own return.

**I woke up today in London**

**As the plane was touching down**

**And all I could think about was Monday**

**And maybe I****'****ll be back around**

Derek recalled the reaction of Reid, when Prentiss returned from the grave. He will could behave in the same way? He preferred not to think about it.

He had lived nine months being someone else. Two hundred ninety-four days, being a guy named Walter Simons. By God, he did not even have Walter's face.

A tired smile appeared on his face. He saw his own reflection in the plane's window.

Everything stay the same? All of them will be the same? Penelope will understand his decisions?

He closed his eyes for a moment. A thought came to his mind lightning like. An assumption that he did not want to think. But there it was, in his head, casting doubt ...

**If this keeps me away much longer**

**I don****'****t know what I will do**

**You****'****ve got to understand its a hard life**

**That I****'****m going through**

She had moved on without him? She had forgotten their love? She had sought solace in arms of another man?

The last time he saw her, with Hotch in that bar, she did not seem comforted. Rather, she seemed nervous, fragile and ... dark.

Penelope was pale, paler than usual. Her brown eyes became bigger when she saw him crossing the street.

He smiled again. How was she able to recognize it among all these people? Then he answered himself.

He would have acted the same way, hundreds of years later; he would recognize her in any corner of the world. There was something between them, something unique. He was sure it was something that not everyone had. That connection soulmates like.

It was always like, from the first time their eyes met. It was a magical connection. They were two opposites that together managed of perfection. She was light in his darkness. She was the hope in his despair. She was life amid so much death. She was the joy in his cries. She was the air in his lungs; she was the beat of his heart...

**And when the night falls in around me**

**I don****'****t think I****'****ll make it through**

**I****'****ll use your light to guide the way**

**Cause all I think about is you**

God, how he had missed her. He had missed the warmth of her body every night, in his bed. He had missed all her kisses and her caresses. He had missed her laugh, her sweetness. He had missed her solace. He had missed until their discussions.

Derek had always avoided falling in love, because he did not want to depend on anyone. He knew that, even your own shadow leaves you when all is dark.

He believed that love turned men into morons beings.

When for the first time he tasted one of her kisses, his convictions were of no avail. Since that time, he fell in love Penelope more and more every day with.

Months ago, while Derek was talking with his former supervisor, he felt the need to hear her voice. He needed to have any contact with her.

Derek was with his former team in New York, trying to make a plan to recapture Juan Valdes. It was Christmas, and the city of skyscrapers was covered with ornaments and lights. The winter chill seeped between his bones, cold emotional had a place in his soul.

He recalled that Penelope loves the Christmas. In a boost, Derek dialed her number from a pay phone. He did not answer when he heard her voice on the other side. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, before ending the call.

**Well L. A. is getting kinda crazy**

**And New York is getting kinda cold**

**I keep my head from getting lazy**

**I just can't wait to get back home**

Derek closed his eyes, while his head was still busy on his return home. He knew that they had suffered at his funeral; he knew they had lived a hard time with his death.

He opened his eyes, unable to sleep. How would his friends to receive the news that it was all a farce?

None of them knew he was alive, except Prentiss. He wanted trust in his friend, because she had been in a similar situation. She not going to judge him, she could understand the situation. Does the rest of the team could understand it? Penelope could understand it?

If he knew anything, it is that he could not live without her. He had to get everything back the way they were. Derek was going to fight so that all that lost time, not end their story.

**And all these days I spend away**

**I'll make up for this, I swear **

**I need your love to hold me up**

**When its all too much to bear **

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx

Emily Prentiss ran her hands down her pants, again. It was something that will happening every time she was nervous. She could not help it; her hands were sweating as if she was in hell.

"What you had to tell us?" Hotch asked, crossing his arms on his chest "Jack's nanny can not stay all night in my house"

Prentiss took a deep breath and turned to run her hands through her pants. "I understand"

"Whatever it is, start talking" Reid said, as he passed a small ball from one hand to the other, before returning to raise his honey eyes "Anyway, we're going to find out"

Prentiss dropped her gaze on Penelope, who was sitting in the couch in her living room. Penelope looked tired, with no hope in life. She was painting her nails, using a bright red. The nail polish was all with some life into her wardrobe. Her shorts were black, the same color as her shoes. Her burgundy blouse clung to her chest, marking each curve.

"Emy, sweet thing ..." Penelope said as she closed her nail polish and put it in her bag "I'm so tired, I did not sleep well last night. You can talk to me anytime, but right now, I better go to bed."

She saw her friend get up the couch, with a faint smile, ready to leave. Prentiss approached her, dropping her hands on the shoulders of Penelope.

"You can not go, Garcia" Prentiss whispered faintly, while she fixed her gaze on her friend's eyes "is something you have to listen ... and see"

Penelope nodded, but did not sit. She stood next to Prentiss, waiting for the news.

"This is about Morgan," Prentiss said at the end, with all the serenity she found "Morgan ... is alive".

She could see the tears in the eyes of Penelope. Her breathing was rough, her hand was resting on her chest, looking at Prentiss with a look full of sorrow "What the hell are you saying?"

"He don't died," she repeated "Do not be angry with him, please," she said, seeing the looks of disapproval and anger "Morgan had no choice, he only did his duty"

Unexpectedly, Penelope took her shoulders tightly, making her fall on the couch. She yelled, inches from her face "You knew it? You knew all this?"

Prentiss felt her heart twisted in her chest. Garcia was a great friend of hers, but Morgan also. She was at a crossroads, she did what she thought best for everybody "Yes ... but I ..."

"Why do not you tell me?" Penelope cried, angrily, "Why you let me sink myself into misery? Why were you so hypocrite and deceitful?"

"Calm down, Garcia" Rossi asked gently, putting his hand on her shoulder "Maybe this has some explanation"

Penelope was released Rossi's hand, before releasing a final hateful look at her friend. "I hope one day you will tell me why you are so bitch".

Furious, she grabbed the doorknob, ready to get out of there as soon as possible. When she managed to open the door, a hand grabbed her elbow "Don't go, please"

Penelope opened her eyes in disbelief, not daring to turn around. Her beats were crazy, aimless. She swallowed hard, as his hand rose from her elbow to her shoulder. His deep voice again filled her ears "Let's talk, baby girl."

Her teeth caught her lower lip as she turned slowly, to come face to face with him. The living room was completely silent when she met Derek Morgan's face close to hers. His chocolate eyes sparkled with life, his lips were wet, and his skin did not have the color of death . His fingers moved slowly on her shoulder. He was alive. He was in front of her.

Penelope looked at his hand on her shoulder, before raising her head to meet his gaze, again. Her hand raised in anger, hitting Derek's cheek. The noise of the slap broke the silence.

He lowered his eyes, rubbing his sore cheek. "Do not ever touch me. To me, you're still dead," she whispered with hate, before walking away from there.

**And when the night falls in around me**

**I don****'****t think I****'****ll make it through**

**I****'****ll use your light to guide the way**

**Cause all I think about is you**

**A/N: Hey, girls! I hope you liked the chapter. The song is **_**Landing in London **_**by **_**3 Doors Down**_

**Remember, I accept any suggestions, critic, idea, etc.**

**Thanks for your comments to:**

**Lenika08, Jenny Crum, ColeMax and Kimd33.**

**Kisses!**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: **I own nothing**

June 2012

Penelope tried to drive quiet, not letting her tears fall from her eyes. She would not shed a tear more by Derek Morgan. She would not waste her life for a liar, not again

He not only had abandoned her, but he had lied to, too. Her hands gripped tightly the steering wheel, her knuckles almost white. Penelope Garcia was not a weak woman; she was not a fragile woman. However, the death of the love of her life was too painful.

Penelope often felt that death was chasing her, to snatch everything that made her happy. She worshiped her parents, but they went away, leaving her alone. She worshiped Emily Prentiss, but she left too, leaving her alone. She worshiped Derek Morgan, but he left too, leaving her alone.

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. Because death not chasing her. Liars surrounded her. Both always will say that they did it for the good of the team, to protect their family. Penelope knew that was an excuse that even they themselves believed, after repeat it once and again.

They had returned from the dead, and pretended that everything was equal. As if, the pain had not existed, as if it had never been despair in her heart.

She forgave Emily Prentiss, because she was her best friend. Penelope was so happy to have her on her side that did not care her lies. Now it was different. Derek had a chance to end her pain, telling the whole truth. However, he preferred to ease the pain of his fucking friend. Prentiss was who had the privilege of knowing his truth, or rather, his lie. Penelope is not was surprised, because both were equally false.

Penelope stopped her car outside her home, the house that once shared with him.  
Derek had returned and she had to find another place to stay. Because she did not want to spend even one minute, close to him.

While dialing a number on the keypad of her phone, she thought about her feelings. How a love so pure had become in that destructive grudge?

She came back to reality, a familiar voice answering her call.

"Hey, it's me ..." she said with a low voice, unsure "I can stay in your home for a few days? ... It's just until I find a place ... Thanks, honey"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx

Derek returned to the living room, after trying to stop Penelope, in vain. He was not enough fast. He shouted her name, begging her to stop for a moment. She ignored him completely, launching the car, moving away at full speed.

He looked at his friends. Rossi was sitting on the large sofa, shaking his head slowly, his eyes full of disappointment. JJ was standing next to the door, her arms crossed on her chest and her head resting against the wall. Hotch's eyes were upon him, his jaw clenched for a few seconds, his face impassive.

"Morgan, you owe me an explanation," Hotch said, with authority, "You should get in contact with me, not with Prentiss. She does not is the leader of your team"

Prentiss raised her eyes from the floor, sadly "Hotch, we just ..."

"You shut up" Hotch interrupted, turning to look at Prentiss "This is between Morgan and myself, so try to keep you out"

Derek looked at him confused, before looking at Prentiss, who was wrapped in tears "No need to be such rude" he said, frowning, "She just did what I asked for"

Hotch raised his hand for silence "Better reserve your strength for tomorrow. Strauss will be happy to hear your whole story"

He ran a hand over his head in despair, walking back and forth nervously. "I wanted to call, but my boss forbade me to. He told me that I did not have any contact with anyone from my current team, because it could be dangerous," he explained, approaching Hotch "I thought she was part of Team B, did not know that was still with us"

"You knew, after talking with her," Hotch said, crossing his arms on his chest, visibly angry "You should break contact"

"We broke the contact," Prentiss said from the couch, still shaking "That was the first and last time we talked"

"Hotch, please," Derek said, his eyes closed for a few seconds, "I had a life here. I did not wake up one day wanting a change. I had no choice"

"You had the option not to lie" he heard Reid's voice behind him, before turning to meet face to face with his friend. Reid had dark circles around his eyes and his lower lip was trembling. "You had the option of not being a fucking phony"

Derek approached him angrily "not talk to me like that, brat, because you know nothing" he shouted

Reid looked away for a few seconds "All I know is that I'm tired of these games"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Derek asked with exasperation

"You both have played with the sentiments of the people, as if that were worthless. You both have compelled us to live a painful lie, but you do not want to pay the consequences. What I felt for your deaths, the tears I cried for you two ... "Reid did not even finish his sentence.

Reid shook his head, biting his lower lip. He felt hurt, disappointed and tired of the whole situation. "I feel sorry for you two, but I think that your return has not been a good idea. Who fakes their own death, never returns to the place where they were buried"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx

Derek was dismay by the harsh words of Reid. He never thought his friend would rather keep thinking that he was dead. His words had planted in his heart, tearing his somewhat damaged structure. Penelope's words still rang in his head like a curse. 'To me, you're still dead.'

He leaned back in his car seat, his eyes closed, not daring to leave the vehicle. Derek had seen the lights in their room lit before opening the garage door. Maybe that was not even their room. He did not believe that Penelope would like to share a bed with him.

When he climbed the stairs to the room, she was taking all her clothes from the closet. He said nothing, just looked at Penelope store her clothes in the suitcase was on top of the bed.

"I can know where you're going?" he asked softly, "It's too late, at least stay here tonight"

She did not answer him. Penelope continued to keep her clothes, ready to leave as quickly as possible.

"Please, I just want to know that you'll be alright"

Penelope raised her cold gaze for a moment; her eyebrow rose "I will stay in Aaron's home. Do not worry about me, I'll be fine," she said, before returning to her task "Why do not you worry about your dear Emily? You should do it, if she is so important in your life"

Derek came to her, "Aaron? Since when you have so much confidence with him?" he frowned, moving closer to Penelope, trying to read her eyes "Did you sleep with him?"

He knew he probably had no right to be jealous, but just could not help it. Penelope was hurt, Hotch was alone ... Not a good combination.

Her brown eyes looked at him up and down, "I'm not like you," she said before closing the suitcase and head for the door "He has helped me overcome your death, has been a great support to me all this time"

"Yeah, sure ..." he replied with a humorless laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Will you let me go?" she asked irritated, the vein in her neck throbbing in anger.

"No" he replied, taking her wrists in his hands "You're not going anywhere"

"Let go of me," she whispered, her eyes wide with anger "Out of my way"

He approached her, pinning her body against the wall, "Is it so bad for you to spend a night with me?"

She twisted her wrists, trying to break free "Let go of me. Having you around makes me nauseous"

His gaze was furious as he tightened his jaw. He put her hands above her head and lowered his lips to hers. With his free hand, he squeezed her breast, as he ran his tongue over her swollen lips.

She allowed him to explore her mouth, opening her lips. Then he felt her teeth biting his lower lip hard, the taste of his own blood in his mouth.

He pulled away, his fingers caressing the small wound on his lip. "I told you to leave me alone," she whispered, with something akin to hatred.

Derek gritted his teeth, releasing her wrists "Fine! Go to hell!"

He saw her close the door behind her, without looking back. Derek turned his anger on the door, getting a hole in the wood. "Fuck!"

**A/N: Here another chapter, I do not know when I'll upload another, I guess next week. **

**Thanks for your follows, and for reading my fic.**

**Thanks to my girls ColeMax, JennyCrum, kmn1829, Lenika08 and kimd33.**

**I hope your opinions, suggestions, etc..**

**Many kisses from Spain**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimers: **I own nothing**

Derek did not know how much whiskey was inside his body, but not enough to make him lose his head. He kept seeing Pen in the midst of the dance floor.

He saw her sensual, feminine, almost erotic ... That damn black top, with the straps tied behind her neck... The flesh of her breasts begging for attention.

Her hips covered with denim, leaving exposed her creamy legs.

Penelope moved her hips, doing magic on her waist, her hands playing with her silky hair.

She was sexy, very sexy. Worse, she knew.

Derek was sure, Penelope was aware that he was staring her body. More than once, she had looked at him earnestly. A mischievous, wicked smile on her face, as she was rotated her hips against another man, sensually. That witch knew he was getting jealous.

She was dancing with two men. She laughed with them, throwing her head back. She flirted with them, whispering, God knows what, in their ears.

He again raised his drink; letting the alcohol burn his rage, his jealousy, his anger... How could he get angry? He had no right... he had abandoned her.

"You should stop looking at her," Reid whispered, sitting on his left "She's having fun, not causing harm anyone"

"Yes, she is having too much fun" he replied, with considerable sarcasm, "What's in her head, a threesome?"

Reid raised his eyebrows in surprise, as he took a sip of his soft drink. He was a responsible man, he took seriously that of 'If you drink, do not drive'.

"She's not doing anything that you have not done before. You've never danced with only a woman, what are you complaining?"

Derek's eyes chilled his drink in his throat. "You know I have reason," he muttered, before returning to converse with Rossi and JJ.

He turned his eye to Hotch, who never took his eyes off to her. Derek did not know if anything had happened between him and Penelope, but she attracted him sexually, he had no doubt about that. His eyes filled with desire, his lips dry ... Hotch watched every movement, his elbows on the bar, his glass full.

Derek approached him slowly, not wanting to interrupt his fun. He sat beside him

"Like what you see?" Derek asked, taking another sip of whiskey "I bet you do"

Hotch turned to look at his subordinate. His dark eyes flashed with anger, his jaw clenched. Hotch shook his head in disbelief, and looked back at the dance floor.

Derek moved closer to him, his elbow on the bar "If you keep looking at my woman, I'll tear your eyes"

He turned to look at Derek again, laughing before answering "Your woman? I think she thinks differently, buddy"

Alcohol and rage was possessed his body, his strong hands grabbed the lapels of his boss.

Hotch was sure he had never seen so much anger in the eyes of his, so far, friend "Never doubt that, do you hear me? Never"

Hotch fixed his eyes on him, with force "Do not threaten me, you do not dare"

Derek released him angrily, almost making him lose his balance "She's mine. Do not you dare put her in your bed, because I swear to God I'll kill you"

He looked defiant, a smile on his face "That's what you want, but the question is ... what is it that she wants?"

A strong blow shook his jaw, causing him to fall to the ground. Hotch raised his finger to the corner of his bloody lips. With a frown, he looked at his assailant, his chest rising and falling in pure rage

"Do not ever say something like that again" his body exuded anger, but his voice was painful "She loves me ..."

A hand placed on Derek's shoulder, "Aaron! ... what happened?" she asked worried, as she knelt beside him.

He then stood up, wiping his blood with a napkin "It's nothing, do not worry"

"Let me look, please" asked Pen, pulling the napkin "It's nothing serious, you've bitten here ..." she said gently, passing her finger through the small wound.

She turned to look accusingly to Derek "You have given him a punch?" she asked, approaching him "Answer me!"

"What the fuck you care?" he said angrily "Yes, I forgot. He is the center of your life right now, no matter what I say, right?"

"Why?" she asked softly, seeing the pain in his eyes "Why have you done this?"

He did not know how to react after what he had done; he knew he had to apologize to Hotch.

But he was angry, he was jealous of Hotch and all those men who approached her. And she allowed them to get close. More of what allowed him the last time.

"You know what the problem is? The problem is that you behaving like a whore with all men who approach you" Derek saw the pain in her gaze, and then regretted his words "I'm sorry, I did not mean ..."

Then, to everyone's surprise, Penelope approached him, putting one hand behind his neck, and began to kiss him desperately.

All the pain, despair and grief were in that kiss. She pressed closer to him, her warmth flooding every fiber of his being. Her tongue caressed the inside of his mouth, until he reacted to her assault.

He grabbed her waist possessively, without allowing an inch of distance from their bodies.

His tongue was lost in the sweetness of her mouth. He could get addicted to her, he was convinced that.

He licked her lips for the last time before leaving her mouth. Then stroked her lips with his thumb, gently.

"Come home with me ... I need you so much"

"No..." she whispered, his forehead against hers, "That's not a good idea"

"Please, for God's sake ... I'm going crazy without you" he pleaded, his voice hoarse.

She brought her lips back to his, pulled away from him, watching his eyes closed.

In less than two minutes, they were in his car. Penelope were on top of him, devouring it with kisses.

She traced the line of his jaw with her tongue, leaving gentle bites into his flesh. Her hands were in his shirt, exploring every hard muscle under the fabric. Her fingers caressed his nipples sharply, ripping loud moans from his throat. "Baby... I missed you so much..."

She took his shirt from him aggressively, before dropping her mouth to his chest.

Her tongue licked every bit of him, biting his skin, while her hips stirred against his erection.

Penelope continued down her mouth, kissing, licking and biting his abs. Her hand stopped on the button of his jeans, before lowering his zipper. She returned to lick his body, from his abs to his throat, leaving a wet trail on his skin.

"Like this, honey?" she whispered in his ear, her hand tucked into his underwear, stroking his dick.

He raised his hand to caress her neck, before kissing her mouth, but she jerked away. "Do not touch me"

He closed his eyes, lost in his own pleasure, feeling her hand up and down on him.

When Penelope started biting his collarbone, digging her nails into his neck, he felt lost.

Derek wanted to be inside her and drive her crazy with pleasure. He wanted her screaming in his arms, but he did not think he would last much longer.

He felt her mouth on him, sucking it eagerly. He tangled his hands in her hair, helplessly.

Her mouth caressed his manhood, leaving it occasionally, to biting and kissing the inside of his thighs.

"Come here, I want make love to you" Derek asked, with a small voice, "I not want cum in your mouth"

She sucked harder, stroking his dick at the same time."You want to cum?" she asked

"Yeah ..."

He closed his eyes, feeling his release. A pleasure he had never felt before, shook his body until his bones.

A smile curled on his lips, while he caressing her face."I love you so much, my angel"

Penelope turned away from Derek, not saying a word and he opened his eyes.

She had moved to the passenger seat. Her gaze was cold, as if nothing had happened between them.

He put a hand on her thigh, stroking it "Have I done something wrong, love?"

She still did not answer, not looking at him."Please, tell me" he kissed her temple, before placing a hand under her chin, forcing her to look at him, "Tell me baby..."

Penelope then turned, looking into his eyes directly "You got what you wanted, you already fucked me. Now, leave me alone. I do not want you in my life again"

"What are you saying? I do not ..."

She laughed, before leaving the car, "Sure, you want to share your life with me, with... how did you call me? Whore?"

Derek got out of the car, a few steps behind her, zipping up his jeans

"Let's talk please ... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry ... Forgive me ..."

"Out of my sight" Pen shouted, opening the door of her car.

"I was jealous, I was insanely jealous ... Please listen to me"

But Penelope was already far away...

**A/N: Hey girls! I hope you liked the chapter.**

**Thanks for your follows and suggestions.**

**Thanks to Kimd33, JennyCrum, Lenika08 and ****Fanaticcm**.

**Kisses my Girls!**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: **I own nothing**

June 2012

"What's wrong?" Prentiss asked, as she sat on the edge of the table. She knew Derek Morgan, because it was one of her best friends. She knew something was walking in his head.

"Nothing you need to worry" he replied, with a forced smile. He did not want to talk about Penelope, not now. "Why did you come to work so soon?"

Prentiss sighed, before gently biting her lower lip. It was not an easy decision, but it was a necessary decision. She needed progress in her career; she needed to take into account all proposals. "I wanted to talk to Hotch, but apparently, he has not arrived yet"

"He must be busy" Derek said, without hiding the sarcasm. What Hotch told him two days ago, still echoing in his head. "Do you have any problem?"

"No, I have a job offer. Clyde has offered me a job in London"He turned to look at her, surprised, "Are you going to London? Are you going to leave the team?"

"I do think nobody will miss me," she replied, with a bitter laugh

Prentiss tried to stay calm, because the last thing she needed was to be sensible. She was aware that her return from the grave had shaken the feelings of her friends. Those feelings were damaged some more, because of the false death of Derek.

They could not understand so many lies, they wounded, but they were still their family. Spencer Reid had given her a smile that morning, and that simple gesture, gave hope to Prentiss.

"I'll miss you," Derek said, putting a hand on her shoulder, before speaking again, "I should never call you"

"Why do you say that?"

He stood up, taking her two hands between his "That call brought you problems. That brought you problems with Reid, with Penelope, with ... Hotch"

"Never mind," she replied, squeezing his hands "I can live without them," she joked, smiling.

"I know how you feel about Hotch, I'm not blind"

Prentiss blinked a few times, stifling her tears. She could not deny the obvious. Over time, she had gotten that love was not so painful. She was proud of herself.

"Do not worry about me; no one dies because of love"

"Sure"

She hugged her friend tightly. Prentiss knew that was going to spend a long time, before that she could hug that man, again.

That man was like a brother for her, affectionate and protective, always willing to listen and comfort.

"I'm going to feel so bad without you ...," he confessed, giving back her embrace.

"Do not be dramatic; I'm just a phone call away, whenever you need me"

"You're my only friend right now," he said, while they broke the embrace "I hope that in London you meet a man who will love you as you deserve. I hope you be happy"

A soft knock on the door open, forced them to turn around.

"Excuse me, I forgot my PDA" Reid said, pointing to the object. Prentiss returned it with a smile "Thanks"

"Hey, wait a minute," she said, approaching him "I had thought we could have a dinner tonight"

Reid squinted, while hitting the PDA with his thumb, "You and me alone?"

"Uh... yes"

"Why in the world you want to have dinner alone with me?" he asked, surprised, "I'm not refusing to dinner is ... just ... curious"

Prentiss moved closer to him, putting her hands on his shoulders "Because you are very important to me, do not want you mad at me ..."

He caressed one of her hands, with his free hand, as she began to smile "Do not worry, my anger is impetuous. She disappears with the same force with which it arrives"

Her eyes filled with tears of joy, as she whispered "Thank you"

"I am forgiven, or I have to become a beautiful woman to get it?" Derek joked, with a big smile on his face

Reid rolled his eyes up "Do you want out to dinner with me, too?"

"Hell no," he said, frowning, "But I am happy to go with you for a drink"

"Well ... If I have no other choice" Reid said, before hugging his friend.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx

Penelope gave another strike against the punching bag, as she felt the curious stares of other agents about her.

Her eyes were full of tears that later were running down her cheeks. Her punches were weak, with increasing her crying.

Penelope wiped her tears with the edge of her shirt, trying to calm down.

She had asked Derek leave her life. She had claimed that what happened in his car was not important. She had tried to get ahead. She really thought it had managed to forget him.

Then she saw him, hugging her. Penelope stood transfixed in the doorway, watching them.

_I'm going to feel so bad without you..._

_Do not be dramatic; I'm just a phone call away, whenever you need me_

Why was she so surprised? Derek made it clear who was the woman he wanted. And that woman was not her. Maybe it never was.

Penelope had rejected him since he had returned; she had spoken him with hatred.

She did not want anything from him. So why had hurt so much? Why her heart ached some more every minute?

She hugged the sack that had previously beaten, trying to keep her balance.

The cold plastic froze her burning cheek, her body swaying to the rhythm of that thing to which she was hugging.

He really had loved her? He really had felt something for her?

She did not know, nor wanted to know. She just wanted the earth to swallow her, disappearing forever.

Derek entered the gym, thinking that a little workout would clear his mind. It was too much in a week.

He lay down on the weight bench, his hands on the hard iron. He heard some sobs, but nearby, there was nobody. Then, he sat on the bench, looking around.

He found her in a corner, embracing one of those punching bags. Derek walked slowly, concerned for her shaking. "Penelope?"

Her gym shorts were just too wide for the thickness of her thighs. He wondered if at some point, she had been sick. Without makeup, her skin was too pale.

She looked so weak, so broken. "Go away ..." she replied, sobbing, "I want to be alone"

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered, gently stroking her lower back. "Come here..."

He grabbed her arms, forcing her to drop the bag. Then he pulled her body tightly against his. "Shh ... calm down"

Penelope struggled to escape his embrace for a few seconds, before surrendering to him. She tied her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. His heart beat hard against her ear.

"Okay, baby ... Cry all you need" he whispered, stroking her hair. "Cry if you need it..."

**A/N: Hey girls! Here I am again. In a few days, back to my work (I'm a nanny :P)**

**So I can not update every day, but I'll find some time to do during the week**

**I hope you liked the chapter, as always, I hope your opinions, criticisms and ideas ... ALL**

**Thanks to **

**maxxbaby (between you and me, I think you're right LOL), **

**Carfa (Thanks honey!), **

**DMfAnATiC69 (please, you don't die... LOL) **

**Jenny Crum (I know you're starting to feel sorry for derek... BUSTED! LOL)**

**Kimd33 (Quiet, I will not break your heart, everybody loves Derek... even me)**

**Lenika08 (A ti que me entiendes, te lo digo en español, jajaja. Ya veras esa conversación, paciencia)**

**Kisses!**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: **I own nothing**

Her breathing returned to normal, her heartbeat was calmer every had managed to relax, into the arms of Derek.

"What are you doing here?" he asked softly, placing his hands on her cheeks "This is your new hobby?"

She saw him smile and suddenly, life seemed more forgiving. Undoubtedly confront his death had been hell for her. Penelope thought she would never see his smile. Now, this gesture seemed a miracle.

"Many things have changed since you left"

Derek released her from his embrace, slowly. "I see ... Hotch even smiles"

The tone of his voice was harsher than he wished. An uncomfortable silence settled between them, his eyes danced against hers.

He tried to ease the tension and began to surround her, pretending to prepare for boxing.

"Will you show me your blows?"

Penelope rolled her eyes in disbelief "Of course not. I will not fight against you"

He stopped moving, funny "What, you're scared of me?"

A smile crossed her face, before shaking her head and walk again. "I do not wanna hurt you"

Derek looked at her, haughty still smiling "Come on! Do you really think you can hurt me with those little hands of yours?"

Maybe it was his smug smile, that confidence in himself, the tension between them ... Penelope approached him, defiant "Come get me"

"Excuse me?" he replied, before exploding into loud laughter. Her eyes fired a warning and Derek stopped laughing instantly.

He stood behind her, one arm around her neck. "How will you get rid of me?"

She thought that such assurance in itself, could be even fun. Placing one foot between his ankles, Penelope caught her foot in his right ankle, making Derek off balance.

She grabbed his free arm, putting Derek face down in the floor. Then she took his left arm and placed it between his shoulder blades. Penelope straddled his waist, pinning him to the ground.

"Do you give up?" Penelope sighed breathlessly. He was a big man, had not been easy take him down. "Or do you want keep fighting?"

"Always," he replied, using his right arm to pull himself up from the ground. Derek placed over her, his knees on either side of her hips, before clamping her hands above her head.

"Now what?" he whispered against her mouth, his breath brushing her lips.

Derek grabbed her hands with his left hand, while the other gently stroked her arm, down to her hip. Penelope squinted, choking back a moan, to felt his knee separating her legs, putting his erection between her thighs.

"Morgan ... Rise up ..."

"No..."

His lips brushed sensually her mouth, sucking on her lower lip. Penelope knew what she had seen hours earlier, Derek and Emily, she knew she should stop it ... but her body rebelled against his orders.

"Remember the last time?" he asked hoarsely, his hand caressing the outside of her thigh "We were in Miami ... We had been making love the whole night"

"Stop it ... please"

"Why? Don't you like my kisses?" Derek asked as he dropped wet open-mouthed kisses on her jaw "Don't you like my caresses?" His hand went up more from her thigh until getting inside her short, squeezing her bottom. "I'm dying of desire for you, like yesterday"

"Morgan ..."

He took his hand out of her shorts, and placed it under her chin, forcing her to look at him, "Morgan? Does that I am for you?"

Penelope held his gaze, his eyes full of unquestionable desire for her, "Your name is Morgan," she said, her breathing becoming more difficult every second.

He shook his head "Mi name is DEREK" before catching her lips.

That was not a tender kiss, sweet or soft. That kiss was rough and full of conflicting emotions. He licked her lips, wishing to introduce his hot tongue into her mouth. However, she would not let him; her lips closed against his kiss.

He thrust his hips forward, rubbing his hardened against her sex. Penelope could not help but moan. His tongue introduced furtive, licking the inside of her mouth.

Someone cleared his throat from the gym door "Sorry to interrupt all this kind of... workout"

The two raised their eyes to the entrance of the gym, while Spencer looked at them, trying to stifle a laugh

"I remind you, this place is full of security cameras. A video about two FBI agents having sex in the workplace, not need even ten seconds, to stay in Porntube's top five"

Derek got up quickly, before answering his teammate

"Thanks, man ... You're very kind," he said as he left the gym.

Spencer frowned, following Derek with his eyes. Was it sarcasm, that his voice hiding?

He shook his head and smiled as he approached Penelope "Hey Pen"

"You are like a ghost," she said, gathering her hair into a high ponytail "I had not noticed you were there"

"I know ..." he muttered, smiling "You were very busy ... what were you doing, trapped between the floor and Morgan?"

Her pale cheeks turned red "None of your business," she said before leaving Spencer laughing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx

Penelope took a breath, nervous, while knocking on the door. Hotch had asked her to come to his office.

"Come in"

"Did you call me?" she asked, closing the door "Have I done something wrong?"

Hotch shook his head, pointing to the chair opposite him. Some minutes later, he did not speak. Then, he put on the table a black wallet.

Smiling, he gave the wallet to Penelope, who looked surprised, "What is this?"

"Open it" he insisted, still smiling. It was hard to see Hotch smile, but every time he did it, his smile could light up a whole room "I think it's something you've been waiting for"

Her eyes widened in surprise, her lips parted not knowing what to say. Inside the wallet, were her credentials.

"This ... this means that ..."

"Congratulations, SSA Garcia"

Penelope rose from her chair, euphoric, still looking inside her wallet. Hotch stood up, wrapping an arm around her shoulders "You deserve it"

She looked at him with eyes full of happiness

"Thank you, Aaron. Thanks for everything. I can not enough thank all you do for me"

Hotch grinned, before placing his hands on her shoulders "I have to ask you something"

Penelope looked at him, trying to read his expression, but Hotch was the ice man. His emotions frozen on his face,

"Whatever"

"I would like ..." His voice trembled for a moment "I would like you to accept going out to dinner with me"

"Of course, why would not ...?"

"Not like that" Hotch interrupted, "A date"

She moved away from him a little, visibly surprised "A date? You and me?"

Hotch cupped her face in his hands, looking into her eyes "Please, if you give me a chance ... I can make you happy"

Penelope grabbed his wrists, shocked "Aaron ... I do not think ..."

"I'm in love with you" he confessed in a whisper "For a couple of months, I can not stop thinking about you. I love you. Just want a chance, all I want is a chance for us..."

**A/N: Ok, now you all can hate me LOL**

**Thanks for reading, and for your favorites and alerts.**

**Thanks a lot for your reviews:**

**Kimd33, Jenny Crum, Lenika08 and Kmn1829 (thanks for your idea, LOL)**

**Kisses and I hope you liked the chapter!**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: **I own nothing**

Penelope could not moving a muscle. She was frozen, was not even able blinking.

Aaron Hotchner, in love with her. Aaron Hotchner, asking her for a date.

That was the strangest thing that had happened in her life.

She felt flattered. Aaron was a clever handsome man. Any woman would love to be around him. Penelope could give her heart to a man like him ... but now ... that was impossible.

"Aaron, please. Do not do this to yourself," she said, turning away from him, "I'm not ready to start a relationship. You know that"

He approached her, placing his hands on her neck, "I can wait as long as you need"

She wanted to smother all his hopes, but not at the expense to hurt him. Penelope sat on the edge of the table, looking at his eyes.

"I'm sorry. Wish I could love you the way you deserve. You are a great man, I know you're capable of doing happy any woman"

"I want to make you happy. I can help you forget to ..."

"No, please," she interrupted, raising her hand, "I do not want to talk about him"

Aaron's eyes were fixed on her. His hands rested on her shoulders "Then say no more about ..." he whispered, before placing his lips on hers.

He dropped his hands on her waist, pulling her against his body. She pulled away from him abruptly, but it was too late.

At the door, Derek came in slowly and approached them, dropping a folder on the Hotch's desktop. "I ... this is... reports ... you have to sign it"

He left the office, closing the door tightly. Penelope put her face in her hands, trying to digest what had happened

She took a deep breath before speaking again, "Why have you done this?"

Aaron was tense, his eyes avoiding her gaze. He knew he had made a mistake.  
She did not want to be with him. He was her boss, her friend, but nothing more.

"Sorry, I did not mean to hurt you" he whispered, grabbing her wrists, forcing her to taking her hands from her face "I'm so sorry"

She closed her eyes for a moment, shaking her head, "Okay, don't apologize more. This is my fault ..."

Aaron frowned, visibly confused. He knew what she was talking about. She felt bad for Derek. She still loved Derek, despite her disguise of indifference. But he needed to hear those words from her own mouth. He could not give up so easily ...

"What are you talking about?"

"Why I have been so selfish?" she whispered, tears in her eyes

"Penelope ..."

Aaron tried to hold her, without ulterior motives. She walked away, shaking her head

Aaron lowered his head without saying a word, as she left his office. He was hurt. He was in love with the wrong person.

He had allowed himself illusions about something almost impossible. ALMOST impossible.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anger was installed inside his veins. Derek Morgan was disappointed. No, he was not disappointed.

He was feeling betrayed. No woman had awakened such strong feelings within his soul.

He could give his own life in exchange for hers. He could kill with his bare hands, if she asked him. He loved Penelope, with all his being. Now, he also hated her.

She had crossed all barriers of his soul. Penelope took his heart in her hands, and strangled it.

Derek took another picture of the box. He watched her radiant smile, her sweet eyes ... He saw his own smile, proper to an idiot in love man. He threw that piece of paper in his fireplace's fire, as he took another swig of whiskey.

He needed to leave. His place was in Chicago, in New York, in London ... Anywhere away from her...

His breath was caught in his throat when he heard the lock. She was on the other side of the door.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he whispered, without turning to look at Penelope.

"Please listen to me ..." her voice pleaded, as she approached one step closer to him. Her eyes fell on the small box he held in his lap.

"I don't want to hear you. Do not want your excuses or explanations. Wanna you to leave my house"

"Baby ... you do not mean it"

He rose from the floor in anger, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Shut up! Don't need your pity!" he yelled, not caring her tears. "I just need you out of my life!"

She could see the hatred in his eyes, his jaw clenched tightly. Penelope felt her heart broke in pieces. That was not the man she loved. This man was a raging stranger.

Penelope wiped her tears with her hand, trying to catch her heart's normal rhythm. She began to take steps backward, away from him.

She was not scared of Derek. She was broken, because of the hatred she saw in his face

"Where you go now?" he asked, grabbing her elbow hard "Come here"

"No!" she yelled, trying to break free from his grip "you're hurting me"

"Well," he said, fixing his eyes on hers "This way you know what really despair is"

Penelope threw her head back, trying to find the right words.

"Sorry, ok?" she whispered, looking back at Derek, stroking his cheek "I'm sorry. But you have no reason to be so hurt …"

"I have many reasons," he growled, retaking the box in his hands, "You are such a liar. You said you loved me but you don't feel anything for me"

"Derek ... listen ..."

"No, you listen to me!"

She plopped down on the living room couch. Never in her life, she had felt so helpless. "Please ..."

"Have you any idea of hell I suffered? ... I lived ten months into a nightmare!" he ran his hands over his head in despair "I just wanted to go home. I was eager to get back into your arms and you..."

He could not continue. His feelings took control of his self. He was fighting his own tears. He did not want the final humiliation.

Derek sighed heavily, closing his eyes, "I thought you'd be happy. God, I thought you wanted to marry me. You accepted to marry me, remember?" he said, letting out a bitter laugh, "But when I came back, you were angry with me. You did not want me around. I only wanted to spend the night with you, kissing you, hold you and you ... You left me!"

Penelope hugged herself, while her crying became uncontrollable. She never wanted to hurt Derek. She was just so jealous of Emily. She was furious that Derek had chosen his friend over her.

"I'm so sorry ..."

"Do not bullshit me anymore!" he shouted, pulling out his pain "You're in love with that fucking Aaron Hotchner!"

"That's not true"

Derek was sick of the whole situation. "You want to know why I faked my death?"

"Derek ..."

"Years ago, I infiltrated a drug gang. The narco escaped from a maximum security prison. My former colleagues had to leave their lives, and go into hiding because Juan Valdés vowed revenge"

She looked at him expectantly. Every word made her feel so selfish...

"Want to see something funny?" he asked wryly,

before throwing pictures on the couch "Look at that"

Her eyes widened in horror. In each and every one of those pictures, was any team members. Someone had been following BAU members except Emily. Penelope recalled that her friend was working with the team B.

"Derek ..."

"NO! I was receiving pictures like these, every day. Could you imagine the fear I felt? I gave up all I had for your sake ..."

Derek leaned his elbow on the wall, resting his forehead on his palm "Valdes killed Richard. That fucking sick, forced me to watch, while he cut my best friend's throat"

Her tears began to fall from her eyes. Derek heard the cries of Penelope behind him. "Forgive me ..."

He turned to look at her face to face. "You do not trust me. You gave me no consolation. You deprived me of your love"

"I'm sorry, please forgive me ..."

Her hand stroked his shoulder, but he pulled away quickly, "Do not touch me. Do not want you touch me anymore"

"Please let me be with you"

"NO!" he shouted, pulling away from her body "Is too late now"

Derek put his hand inside the box, taking something in his palm. He opened the little box, showing its contents to Penelope.

"These were our wedding bands. I bought them in Chicago when I faked my death. This made me think of you, in our future ... how could I be so stupid?"

She observed the gold rings, so perfect in the velvet box. Derek threw them into the fire, without hesitation.

"But we no longer need them, right?"

"Please, stop. I can not bear this anymore"

"Do not you want to know the rest of my adventure?" Derek asked with a wry smile as he unbuttoning his shirt.

"NO!" she cried desperately, running her hands through her hair "I want nothing more. This hurts me, Derek"

"Does it hurt you? Do not think it hurts you as much as me" he ruled, before taking off his shirt.

Penelope does not understand anything, does he want to have sex?.  
Derek grabbed her wrist and placed her hand on his back. His lips were inches from hers. He whispered, "Can you feel that? Are scars.  
I have spent days lying on my stomach, bound hand and foot "

Her hands moved up gently to his shoulders, forcing him to rotate. She stared in horror at his wounds. Stab scars, scars of burned skin ...

"With each passing day, it was worse than the last. They have beaten me, they burned me. They have wounded me with knives"

He turned to look in her eyes "Nothing has hurt me more than you disdain. Nothing."

She opened her mouth, trying to say something that might ease his pain. But her mind could not work after so many tears. "I love you so much ..."

"Is that why you kissed him? Is that why you never gave me a chance to tell you everything? Is that why you never trusted me?"

"Derek, please ..."

"Just go out"

**A/N:**Here's the new chapter. Thanks for reading, for your favorites and alerts :)

Many thanks for your comments, opinions and ideas.

Thank you for your reviews to:

**Jenny Crum, Kimd33, Shy Chey 94, Kmn1829, Alicat 90, Newnaless, Maxxbaby, Lenika08, Guest and Krys =)**


End file.
